Merry Christmas, America.

As my gift to you this year, I have created this blog. It’s exactly what you wanted but were afraid to ask for: sophisticated academic analysis of the antics of a bunch of tanned, drunk, self-absorbed party animals and animalettes. Note my tactful avoidance of the G-word, which will be discussed at length in my first substantial post.

But don’t worry, America. I’m aware that your average reading level is somewhere in the middle school range, and I intend to break down these intellectual concepts into terms you can understand. Each week, I will offer an analysis of the new episode that hopefully will help you see what MTV’s Jersey Shore has to teach us about our culture, our values, and ourselves. I will also write occasional pieces analyzing the coverage of Jersey Shore in various fine media outlets such as The New York Times, Saturday Night Live, and Cracked.com. But I’m getting ahead of myself. In fact, I’ve got a lot of catching up to do. Fortunately, Jersey Shore is on a hiatus this week for the holiday, so I’m going to take the opportunity over the next few days to get you up to speed on what pressing intellectual questions are presented to us by the first four episodes.

You’re welcome, America. God bless us, every one.